Goodbye Whittier, Goodbye 55404

Well, we’ve moved. I would like to take a moment to make a few neighborhood shoutouts:

  • Goodbye, Franklin & Nicollet Liquor. I will never forget the vacant lot and sketchy gas station that once accompanied your intersection before the condos moved in. I look back fondly on the time a guy tried to steal a case of Miller High Life out of my hands when Justin and I made a booze run. You have always been reliable, available to provide the source and solution to so many of life’s problems.
  • Goodbye, Acadia Cafe. Though you moved out of the neighborhood a month ahead of us, I will still remember how we first met. I decided bypass my usual Spyhouse coffee to try out a new place. On my way to your establishment, I was robbed at gunpoint. Your staff did let me use your phone, even providing a cup of coffee for comfort. Since then, you have provided wonderful beer, sandwiches, music, wi-fi, and BarCamp gatherings. You will be missed.
  • Goodbye Wedge Co-op. Though Sarah and I will always return as members, we’ll probably be visiting other co-ops in our new area (or participating in a CSA).
  • Goodbye, Red Dragon. Sarah and I met at your fine establishment on Saint Patrick’s day, just before the smoking ban. I’ll never forget the time a guy threw up on us. While you did clean up our table, nobody replaced our puked-in drinks. Man, we have had some good times there though, like the time I drank 2 Wonderous Punches, a Red Dragon, and a Pina Colata in one sitting. I won’t be drinking like that again, but we’ll still be back.
  • Goodbye, CC Club. I remember the time a naked man flashed everyone on the outdoor patio. If I had a quarter for every time somebody asked me “Hey, are you related to the Wenzel at the CC club?”, I’d have laundry money for a year. For the record, I don’t think I am.
  • Goodbye Franklin & Lyndale bus stop. I’ll never forget some of the regular folks. The guy in the Vikings jacket who never wears a hat, even on the coldest days. I’ll never understand how you do that, but I commend you for it.
  • Goodbye 24th & Pleasant bus stop. The 17 was never on time, ever. I have accepted this knowing that this bus route always provides strange and interesting company.
  • Goodbye Leaning Tower. I will carry your greasy pizza and beer in my arteries for many years.
  • Goodbye Hum’s Liquor. You were a trusted friend, always playing just the right classic rock and noisy music on days that I needed it. You also sell Red Stripe 12-packs at a price competitive to others. Thanks.
  • Goodbye Spyhouse. I still remember when your food tasted like cigarette smoke before the smoking ban. You were my office away from home during my MCAD days though. I haven’t visited you much since the Bad Waitress opened, but you still have my respect.
  • Goodbye Bad Waitress. You provided comfy booths and wi-fi, even when I camped out there for 6 hours at a time. You were also the only place I could get a chocolate shake at 11pm on a lonely night.
  • Goodbye Critical Mass. You always included Franklin Avenue on your bike parades. Thanks for thinking of us. I never approved of the lunkheads who rode in the wrong direction or started fights with cars on Franklin & Lyndale, though I appreciate the concept.
  • Goodbye Pleasant Avenue. I have lived in several homes on this stretch. Over time, I found myself biking Pillsbury Avenue on late nights.
  • Goodbye Jasmine Deli. You get a huge hug.
  • Goodbye, hipsters on Lyndale Avenue. I never liked you. I look forward to measuring you up the future.

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